While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
