I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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