eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
