you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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