i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
