I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
