I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
You took a bar mat shot.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
