Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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