I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
he fucked my hip out of place.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
