arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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