Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
