god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
