I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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