fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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