Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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