If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
