All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
