Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
barbara walters just said penis...
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
