You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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