i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Barsexuality is the new black.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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