im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
