everyone is single if you try hard enough
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize