If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
