Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
