You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
