porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Randomize
