I looked at my own cervix.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
