I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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