Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
