How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
there is glitter all over my balls
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
