I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
