Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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