I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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