Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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