i think i have two assholes
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
