some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
