i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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