Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
