I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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