Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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