Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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