i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
