I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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