I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
