is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
