do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
