i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
