He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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