you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
