Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
