Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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