She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Help. Why am I so naked?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
