i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
