Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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