Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
