I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
