if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I think I have vodka in my lungs
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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