At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
