throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize