So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
