we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
