He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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