somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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