To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
